Spanking for the Beginning Spankee

Are you a new spankee just embarking on getting your first spanking ? The first two rules in spanking are safety and communications.

Safety:

You want to make sure the spanking takes place in a safe setting. If it is someone you know well then pick a place that is comfortable for both participants. If it is someone you are not familiar with such as someone at a party, then it is best to pick a suite party where other people are near in case there is a problem. If you are not comfortable in a suite party then bring someone you are comfortable with along as an observer. If you are meeting someone at a hotel or their home and you don’t want to take an observer with them make sure you implement a safe call. A safe call is setting up someone that you will call at a specific time. That person knows where you are going and who you are meeting.  Both parties should feel comfortable with whatever arrangements are being made for safety. If they are not then you may want to rethink the meeting.

Communication:

It is important for there to be an open line of communication between spanker and spankee. That is to say when you are just beginning there should be a discussion before the spanking begins. In the discussion any limitations should be brought up; IE no wood, no man-made materials, only the hand or whatever both parties are comfortable with. Also to be discussed would be the amount of undress; that would include only over all clothing, panties or bare bottom. You should also discuss the tone of the spanking; is it going to be more playful, more intense or severe as in a punishment type style. Always set up a safe-word. This is a word that when spoken immediately ends the spanking no matter how far along it is. Make sure that you and your spanker know where your tail bone is. In some people it can be very low and can be cracked by a misplaced smack with a heavier implement.

Know your limits:

A spanking should be a positive experience, though it may be painful. It may be an endorphin rush, it may be a release of frustration or stress, but it should never be a scary situation. Now that is not to say you won’t get butterflies at the thought of being spanked, but it should not be a terrifying experience. If there are things that bring up bad memories or make you uncomfortable make sure the spanker understands this. If you have bad associations with a hairbrush or belt avoid those unless you are specifically trying to face the item. If you are trying to face something you are afraid of it should be done with someone you know well and understands that is what you are doing. It is unfair to bring a fear into a spanking without the spanker knowing it. It can be traumatic for both parties involved.

Implements:

The safest implement to start with is always the hand. The reason for this is the spanker has a much better judge of the state of the bottom through tactile contact. It is also an implement that the spanker also feels the spanks and the hand will also get sore along with the bottom. The spanking is much less likely to go to far for the spankee. If you are going to have implements used make sure you know the skill of the spanker. I always recommend talking to others who have been spanked by them or in the case of  parties many times you will have the option of watching them spank someone. If you don’t like the way they use an implement, then don’t let them use it on you. Graduation from hand to leather and leather to wood or man-made. It is all up to you what you like may change and evolve over time. It definitely has for me. In the beginning I only liked one type of implement, but now I like all types of implements.  If you want to try something new always do so with someone who knows how to use the implement, because any implement can cause damage if used incorrectly.

Spankings are something I love, from light to severe. My mood dictates what type of spanking I want. The abilities of my spanker and how comfortable with certain implements sets what implements are used. It is a wonderful experience if everyone follows the rules and communicates. There is a physical rush from the endorphins from the spanking itself and a psychological rush from the verbal interplay and power exchange. It is interesting how when things go well the reality does live up to the fantasy! 

Parties are a great way to get to see what spankings are like and talk to others about the experience and also play in a safe environment with others who are into spanking . Check the groups page  for some of the most established groups.

If you are embarking on learning how to spank, parties are also  a great place to observe how different implements can be used. I learn about new implements or new uses for old implements at every party I attend. Working in tandem with another spanker or being spanked by two people at once is also something that is easily done at a party where there are many spankos together.

In future posts I will try and explain different ways to use various implements.